Her face, anchored by khoal lined eyes shadowed a shade of winter green, is framed by jet black pigtails and bangs that pay homage to pin-up icon Bettie Page. Penciled in eyebrows arch dramatically, competing with blood red lips for centre stage. A silver retainer in her nose and a spiral barbell centre lip give her pale beauty that extra edge.
If a picture says a thousand words this one tells an interesting story. But the true tale lies in the girl captured in the frame.Eliese Mackinnon, or Suspiria Suicide as she’s often known, has been the subject of photographs for most of her life. Fast approaching 30, Eliese got her start modeling in front her father’s camera. Having a photographer for a father helped MacKinnon ease into feeling comfortable in front of the lens.
Surprising because MacKinnon suffers from anxiety and social phobia, and there’s few places outside her home she feels comfortable.
“Since I was a child I used to be afraid of going to the counter of a store…I’d get someone else to do it for me,” says MacKinnon.
“It’s brutal. It depends on what situation I’m in but people scare the crap out of me…If I could be here and not even leave the apartment I would love that.”
Her partner of three years, Travis Davis, confirms MacKinnon’s claim.
“I often times (well all times really) find myself going to the grocery store alone. This goes for most other “outside” endeavors as well,” he says.
“Pretty much, if it’s not absolutely necessary that she has to go, she most likely won’t. I usually end up leaving alone to go to shows, unless it’s something that she’s really looking forward to seeing, and even then she has second thoughts most of the time.”
In another photo MacKinnon channels the legendary Page, her face taking prominence in the black and white shot. Leaning on a leopard print bed her black bustier and elbow length gloves almost conceal the riding crop in her hand.Considering her social phobia it’s a wonder how she manages in front of the camera at all. But for MacKinnon it’s the satisfaction she gets from her photos that keep her coming back for more, and it helps that at most shoots she’s in the company of friends.
“”It’s just easier because it’s just me and them,” she says adding, “I guess doing the pictures, if they look good and I like them it gives me confidence and then I feel better and I’m not as socially retarded in those situations. It’s really weird…I don’t understand it myself, it’s pretty bizarre.”
Despite her multiple phobias MacKinnon shines in front of the camera. Her ability to convincingly portray different styles and the ease she with which she changes personas make her a photographer’s dream.
“I had no idea she was going to be as phenomenal as she was, but it turned out to be one of the best decisions I had made,” says Stephanie Nairn of Elemental Photography, of her decision to contact MacKinnon and book her for a shoot.
“It doesn’t feel like it does when I shoot other people. With other models, even those I have become friends with, I find it on the stressful side, but not with her, not at all,” says Nairn.
“She’s also pretty versatile in her looks and styles and I like that too because not everyone can pull off pin-up and gothic and fetish and anything else that comes along. She’s definitely my muse and I love the girl to death…I owe her a lot – she keeps my spark going.”
MacKinnon enjoys working with all her photographers, and the variety of their shoots. It’s the diversity and distinctness of each experience that keep things interesting.
“Everyone I work with has such different and unique styles as well as personalities – I love them all,” she says, adding, “I love doing all the pin-up stuff, the themed stuff, the fetish stuff. The only stuff that doesn’t really suit me is glam and fashion I guess, I even tried artistic nudes last summer and I loved those so, I like them all.”
So does her audience. MacKinnon’s talents have opened new doors.
A little over two years ago she submitted a set pf photos to SuicideGirls, an on-line alt-porn community that features soft core photos and profiles of young women who subvert the mainstream look associated with most pornography.
Even though the site warns aspiring models that submissions are often declined on the first try, MacKinnon’s photos were approved right away, much to her surprise.
“I was like I’m totally going to get rejected – and they didn’t and I’m like oh, that’s so awesome,” she says.
With the acceptance of first her set MacKinnon won the right to add Suicide to her model name, and Suspiria Suicide was born. The name is a nod to Suspiria, MacKinnon’s favourite gothic movie by Dario Argento.
And MacKinnon and Davis were featured in season five of Kink. The show, which follows real people as they experiment with life outside our sexual norms, airs on Showcase.
Initially the experience was fun and exciting, but under the same circumstances it’s not something the couple would do again.
“They were everywhere…they were in every room of the house, we were outside at different locations,” recalls MacKinnon.
“For four months,” adds Davis, “it was pretty invasive.”
Dealing with the obstacles that her phobias create makes life more challenging, but MacKinnon is managing so far. Her sanctuary is the home she shares with Davis and their pets, and in the things she does enjoy; coffee, cigarettes, kisses, sunshine, solitude, baths, food, animals and friends.
With more shoots on the horizon it’s obvious that it’ll take more than fear to hold her back.
For Davis it was this spunk, and something else, that first drew him in.
“She looked as if she had an ass that wouldn’t quit”, he recalls, only half joking.
“And it hasn’t”
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