Assignment: Essay; Outcome: This...

It starts long before we take our first breath. Cells split 1 into 2, to 4, to 8, then 16, 32, 64, 128; multiplying and dividing in evolutionary perfection until this mass of genetic tissue begins to resemble its future human shape. And while these tiny DNA building blocks construct our embodied foundation the hopes and dreams of our parents-to-be frolic in elysium fields with societal expectations… before we ever feel the warmth of the sun on our skin we struggle under the weight of disappointed realities of lives passed and passing.

And finally we arrive, swaddled firmly in others ideas of the people we will come to be. Such a good girl, such a pretty girl they say, hopefully, patting her pigtailed head as she toddles off to the gourmet kitchen play-set, as the neighbourhood boys rough-house noisily across the street.

Little Einstein, Sesame Street, Dora, Handy Manny; Transformers, Brats and Hip Hop on MTV; Oprah, Girls Gone Wild, Al Gore and Mr. Clean… tell ‘us’ how to be, and how ‘they’ should be seen, and then sell us products they tell us will help us be ‘all we can be’ in their capitalist army.

Express yourself they say, tongue in cheek, offering custom built credit cards to finance the expression of individuality sold in strip malls and on TV. And suddenly I’m on campus with 15,000 students I can’t tell apart, and self-expression is flashing your tits for a trucker hat, and hoping your boss never watches that particular DVD.

…In third grade they gave me a white paper sheet, with nine dots arranged in rows of three. Connect these spots with one line, no breaks, think outside the box I heard them say. Outside the box? In theory, maybe: just don’t cross that line with both feet. Dare to go further, topple boundaries or challenge authority and things change from ‘just be‘ to ‘be more like me’.

So we suck it up and tow the party line or choose not to and bide our time, certain we are not defined by the latest must-have fashion line. And in between the push and pull, or the rub and tug, the only thing clear to me: rubber boots are the new uggs.